Was any of it Real?

I want to run—so fast, so far,

Escape your name, your ghost, your scar.

Each step I take, my heart still wrenches,

Your memory digs in deep, leaves trenches.

If I stop, the past begins to bite,

Like a starving hound in the dead of night.

The moments we shared come rushing back,

A cruel montage on a looping track.

Was it all real, the love we made?

Or just a mask that you portrayed?

Did you ever mean the words you said,

Or was I just warmth till the next warm bed?

I've lost the gift of peaceful sleep,

My nights are long, my wounds run deep.

Even insomniacs would bow in shame,

Compared to how I’ve played this game.

Vivid reels inside my mind—

Moments soft, now sharp, unkind.

I try new things, they never last,

Joy fades quickly, haunted by past.

A bottomless spiral, I descend,

Each thought of you refuses to end.

Why did you go? Was I not enough?

Was my version of love too soft, too tough?

Now work’s my drug, my sweet escape,

I bury myself, reshape, reshape.

No time to talk, no space to feel,

Just tasks and noise to help me heal.

But still the question screams and burns,

Why didn’t you share the hurt in turns?

This dream we built comes back in pain,

Now I'm the one left in the rain.

I’ve even thought of ending this ride,

But that would just let sorrow slide

Into more hearts, make them bleed too—

So no, I won’t do that to those who do love true.

You could’ve told me, face to face,

Not hid behind a liar’s grace.

You fooled around, then played it calm,

Till I uncovered your secret balm.

Had I not asked you that cold dawn,

You’d have let the lie go on and on.

So tell me now—are you happy still?

Was breaking me part of the thrill?

I hope you smile when night is near,

When I lie cold with dried-up tears.

Because this wound, this step you chose—

Left nothing blooming, just a roseless rose.